Navigating Family Dynamics During the Holidays
The holidays are often portrayed as joyful, but for many, they can bring stress, tension, and emotional overwhelm. Why? Family gatherings magnify feelings of disconnection, especially if you are in the midst of a personal transition or transformation. Being in a personal transition moment is what psychologists call a Liminal Space. it’s the in-between place where you’ve left one version of yourself behind (sorta), but you aren’t fully sure who you are becoming. The holidays amplify this because they tie us into old roles, expectations, and patterns that may not fit who you are becoming.
The holidays can amplify that “in-between” feeling because they tie us into old roles, expectations, and patterns that may no longer fit.
Three Strategies for Navigating Family Dynamics
- Know your own emotional triggers: There’s nothing like holiday family time to trigger the hell out of you. Unresolved feelings or old wounds are lurking right there on the surface anyway, so it doesn’t take much for them to fester during a family interaction.
- Identify and practice. Think about one or two situations that tend to trigger you and prepare how you will respond, using grounding techniques, breathwork, or even short phrases to redirect the conversation (e.g., “I’m not comfortable talking about that right now. Let’s focus on something else”). Practicing what you will do or say, in a safe place, can make it easier when you’re actually faced with a trigger.
- If you’re a highly sensitive person (i.e., even the buzzy sights and sounds of the holidays wear you out), here are some tips for you.
- Revisit and reinforce your boundaries. We know we need boundaries, but they are so hard to enforce when we fall into old habits and people pleasing roles. But boundaries help you protect your energy and maintain your sense of self in overwhelming situations.
- Reflect on where you need to say Yes or No this season. And practice phrases you can say to assert your boundaries. Molly, at Becoming Boundaried, has some great suggestions.
- Remember, it’s ok to simply say No to an invitation, if it’s too much for you right now. Give yourself permission to decide what’s right for you.
- Try to stay curious. It’s easy to get defensive in family situations, but switching that defense to curiosity can help.
- Get curious about your own feelings that pop up. What might you need?
- Ask yourself, “I wonder what they’re feeling right now?” to stay grounded and open when tension arises.
The Role of Community in Navigating Change
Navigating the holidays with family can be TOUGH! But you don’t have to do it alone. Being in a Liminal Space is hard, but connecting with others in similar transitions can help ease the load.
My next cohort for the Liminal Space is forming now. It’s a supportive container to explore personal growth, navigate challenges, and redefine your identity–all while connecting with others on similar paths. You might feel overwhelmed right now, but the holidays are actually the ideal moment for you to invest in understanding your emotions, habits, and patterns (and feel supported while you do so). The holidays don’t have to completely overwhelm you. With support (group + 1:1 coaching), they can be an opportunity to reconnect with yourself.
Sign up for the Liminal Space program now to navigate this season–and beyond–with clarity and support. Learn more and register here.
You deserve a season that feels authentic and aligned with who you are becoming. Even in the chaos of the holidays, there’s room for growth, connection, and transformation. Join the Liminal Space today.
